What do you do with the bruises that never quite disappear? Jess Holt, aka total tommy, takes that question and holds it up to the light, studying every scar and edge with unflinching curiosity. Bruises, her debut album, feels like an aftermath with fragments of memory and emotion tangled together. Her music carries the weight of everything she’s left behind and everything she’s walked into—breakups, a move, coming out, finding new love.
Holt’s journey to this point is interesting. After years recording sleek electropop as Essie Holt, things no longer felt right. Bruises is the result of Holt taking a step back to reconnect with her songwriting; an album where clean, bright hooks collide with the sound of artists that she grew up with —Garbage, Hole, Yeah Yeah Yeahs. However, it’s not another nostalgic homage; this is a reclamation. Chipping away at pop’s shiny veneer, she scrapes her sound down to a bare surface where tension is all that holds everything together. The result is catchy, but sharp. Finely tuned between sweetness and scorn. This is “brat-pop”, levelled up, scarred and unapologetic. As Holt says, total tommy “sounds like the first time you got high because she broke your heart, and makes you wanna do it all over again.”
‘Adeline’ opens with a subtle, sparkling touch, a letter to her teenage self. “You don’t have to do this anymore,” Holt sings, urging her younger self forward with quiet assurance. It’s an understated start, but things quickly ramp up with ‘Losing Out,’ a dark, churning track with lyrics that bite hard. “Stuck inside your house ‘cause you’re too scared to show your face,” she sneers, her delivery recalling the angst and clarity of Courtney Love. There’s a bitter edge here, but it’s tempered, simmering under the surface.
The album’s pop roots are heard on ‘REAL,’ with a pulsing beat and heavy chorus that blends Lorde’s vulnerability with gothic allure. It’s hypnotic, merging the past with something new, shadowed yet magnetic. Next, ‘SODA’ drifts in like a warm memory, its hazy guitars and tender lyrics capturing the fleeting thrill of a summer crush. This was the first song Holt wrote for Bruises, and it shows—a tentative exploration that’s both spontaneous and carefully shaped. It has a Beabadoobee-like softness, a flash of bright light amid the album’s heavier moments.
With ‘Ghost,’ Holt lets things turn darker, taunted by memories and regrets that feel as though they’re lurking just out of sight. “Underneath it all I’m seeing something that wants out,” she sings, her voice hanging in shadow as guitars echo around her. It’s a track that’s both haunted and haunting, creating space for her past to exist without needing resolution.
Then comes Bruises’ most personal moment with ‘ribs,’ a song she wrote for a friend struggling with anorexia. “I will always listen, answer when you call,” she sings softly, her voice unwavering. It’s a stark expression of loyalty, stripped of any adornment, revealing a moment of raw humanity.
Mixed by Dan Carey, ‘microdose’ brings back the tension, mixing murky beats with grungy guitars in a way that’s part pop, part alt-rock. This is the album’s pivotal song, with an intensity that captures the thrill and risk of a relationship on the edge. Holt’s willingness to balance catchy melodies with darker themes is what makes Bruises so compelling. With ‘SPIDER,’ she leans into the grunge full-throttle, turning an encounter with a spider in the studio into a metaphor for friends who can’t let go. The song pounds forward with Nirvana-like energy, but it’s cleaner, Holt’s voice cutting through the fuzz with controlled clarity. There’s a certain swagger here, a sense that she’s embracing the messiness without needing to tidy it up.
‘Plus One’ lightens the mood with a cheeky anthem about sex, brief and unfiltered. No more to ne said. Then ‘girlfriend’ and ‘Amsterdam’ add more shades of intimacy to the album’s final stretch, one radiant with new love and the other introspective. In ‘girlfriend,’ Holt’s voice projects joy, bursting with brightness. ‘Amsterdam’ is moodier, evoking a quiet night alone in an unfamiliar city, its lyrics circling back to themes of independence and solitude. It feels intimate and unguarded, a quiet moment before the album’s close.
Finally, ‘Shark Attacks’ closes Bruises with a quiet ferocity similar to Phoebe Bridgers. There’s a sense of looking out over the past without needing a definitive answer. Holt doesn’t tie things up; she lets the song trail off, leaving us with the sense that her story isn’t complete.
As the final notes fade, Bruises feels very much like a jumping off point. The album may start with Holt’s pop roots, but it’s mostly about what happens when you refuse to stay in one sound. This playfulness, adding rock’s edge and grunge’s rawness while rooted in melody, leaves the impression that Holt is just getting started. Bruises is part of a story still unfolding—a glimpse of an artist embracing her past, defiant, and ready for what’s next.
‘Bruises’ is released via PIAS on 29th November.
