Payton’s live band is made up of her closest friends, including fellow artist in his own right, Oscar Lang, who has just released his surprise new album [pieces] (he was recording the promotional video for social media as this interview was taking place). “He’s been my collaborator throughout my career,” Payton says. “He really cares about music, and me, and knows the songs well.”
Lang was an important figure for Payton when it came to reminding her that making music should be fun; “I’m a spiraller, I tend to get lost in my thoughts. I would write a song, get halfway through, then my brain would jump ahead to thinking about trying to sell it to a label, make TikToks to it… the whole future of the song,” she says.
“Will I want to sing that song in ten years’ time? I let it go unchecked for too long and that’s what I got writer’s block. Then, Oscar came to New Zealand and suggested we made some music, but I was like ‘I’m not signed anymore, and I have no money, and I won’t be able to pay you, or pay for music videos, and what if I can’t pay my PR team’. And he reminded me that that’s not why I do it. I do it because I love making music. So, let’s just make something.”
Payton wrote the album acoustically, before going into the studio to record it with a full band, which led to the songs ultimately transforming into re-imagined versions of themselves, with certain ones turning out differently to how Payton had visioned them initially. “I knew ‘Accelerate’ would sound like it did from the moment I wrote it, because that was what was right for the song. It needed to be really epic, driving music. That was the vibe of the song. But then there are other songs that surprise you,” she says.
“‘Get Back To You’ was one I thought would be acoustic on the album, but a manager I was speaking to at the time suggested I put drums on the track halfway, to keep it moving. I was unsure, but while we were in the studio a few weeks later, we decided to try it, and it actually sounded really good. I feel like you have to keep an open mind with it, and try things out while you’re recording, if you can afford the time to do that.”
Perhaps the biggest transformation during the process of recording the album was ‘Devotion’, a tune which is centred around the organ as it appears on YOYOTTA, but originally emerged as a funk song, complete with a drum machine and a bassline. “We scrapped that version, because we realised how crazy it was!” she laughs, “I think I have a video of it somewhere – I could find it, but it’ll be years ago now.”
Occasionally, Payton does consider releasing alternative versions of her songs, particularly those from the early stages of her discography – “I do think of doing an EP of re-imagined old songs sometimes, but I’m writing so much now, and my dad used to say to me that good artists know when to stop. You’ll never be able to start something new if you’re always perfecting something else. So, I think you have to learn to let things go. Now, I’m in the growing phase. And I get to mix things up live – I have a new version of ‘Corduroy’ I’ve been playing, which you will hear tonight.”
When preparing for her live show, Payton avoids rituals; “I try not to make it too much of a thing, because I find if you have too much of a ritual, things go wrong. Or if you can’t make something happen, you get stressed. It’s basically creating more things which could throw off your game. I tend to adopt more of a mentality that if something goes wrong, that’s fine, people don’t really care anyway. So, I guess my ritual is saying that to myself a hundred times until I believe it,” she says.
“I had ages where I didn’t drink at all before gigs, which is quite boring when you’re on tour. So now, I have one drink, before I go on stage. But it’s not like I have to have a drink, or I can’t have a drink. I’m trying to not have rules. I recently quit smoking, which has taken away a lot of stuff to do before a show,” she says.
“But I’m at the stage of my career where I’m on a budget, and cutting corners a little bit, so I try not to create too many rituals. I used to be obsessive, because people tell you that it helps. But my goal was always not to need a thing to make myself feel good on stage. This is also why we do less rehearsals, because the goal isn’t perfection, it’s emotion. I’m trying to get myself into whatever state I need to be in, to be vulnerable on stage, and be okay with that.”
Payton’s album was released on the same day as Wunderhorse’s sophomore album Midas, a record which captures this sentiment of prioritising emotion over perfection in the same way that YOYOTTA does. “That’s the biggest compliment ever!” she laughs when I tell her I had both albums on repeat over the weekend.
“I tried to seek perfection for ages but it made things feel really stale. It works for some people, but not for me. That’s not to say there’s one right way – so much of music is just trying things and keeping an open mind. And knowing how to know when it’s not working, that’s huge. I see so many people fall into the trap of taking it personally when people give them feedback. I used to, when I was younger,” she says.
“Nowadays, I have people around me who give me feedback, and I’m lucky to have that, because that’s why I get better. I confronted the fact that I took things too personally, but it was because I was insecure. When someone gives you feedback, it’s not because they don’t like you, it’s because they want you to get better. Which is a beautiful thing. It’s coming from the right place.”
Payton can’t pinpoint the moment that she decided to release the album – all she knows is that she just didn’t stop working on it. “I took it one day at a time, lived in the present, and enjoyed every moment as much as possible. But because of that, everything came out how I wanted it to. There were really hard moments, but every time it felt impossible, I just wouldn’t stop. I just love the album so much, and I think that’s why I feel so confident that I will keep releasing music – I know I can release something that doesn’t ‘do well’ in the traditional sense, and still be really happy,” she says.
“At the end of the day, it’s all got to be for you, and the rest is just a bonus. Then, you won’t feel like you’re dying when you don’t get something you think you need. It’s been a constant push, and the amount of work so many people have put in, the cost, the planning, the tour – I didn’t even know I could do the tour until about a week before I left, so the fact I’m on the tour, and the album’s out… I just feel so relaxed and happy when I get on stage. So much has happened, I just feel like I can handle anything now.”
Molly Payton’s debut album ‘YOYOTTA’ is out now on all streaming platforms.
Photo credit: Riley Coughlin
