What fresh hell is this?
The further into his teens my son gets, the harder it is to get him out of bed in the mornings. DJ Love may inadvertently have provided me with a solution. If I set any one of these songs as a mobile phone alarm ringtone, on the other side of his room, the tracks are repetitive and annoying enough to see him bounding out, just to get some peace. I’ll set it on repeat just in case he goes back to bed.
As a comparison, back in 2008, my wife and I had our last holiday before we became parents, in Salou. While we were away, Spain were competing in the Euros, which they went on to win. As a result, every night, we had to endure people outside by the pool playing loud novelty techno records that were like a hybrid of Scooter, ‘Macarena‘, ‘Gangnam Style’ and fucking ‘Disco Duck‘. Stuff that would appeal to nine year olds.
All of these songs sound like that. Every bastard one of them, despite the artist being of Filipino descent. It’s a living nightmare. In DJ Love’s defence though, I sincerely doubt if he was setting out to appeal to a 54 year old former computer operator with a receding hairline.
Oh God please, make it stop! Have I been damned to all eternity, and this is my punishment? It’s like driving from Land’s End to John O’Groats with a toddler who screams incessantly unless you play ‘Baby Shark‘ ad infinitum.
I don’t know, maybe if you were partying in Ibiza with a load of like-minded folk, it would make more sense, but I had – and still have – nothing in common with the kind of people that went on those types of holidays, so I guess I’ll never know.
I had to give up halfway through, to get the biggest fuck-off packet of paracetamol I could. I feel like I have a headache the size of Frank Sidebottom right now. I’m putting a link here so you can click it to hear what I mean, but in all honesty, you’ll thank me for telling you not to.
